The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

The Autopsy of Jane Doe:
Dark, Disturbing, Claustrophobic ... But Is She a Zombie?

Movie / One-on-One

Look, we can all meet for drinks after work and have a good, long, well-lubricated debate about whether the body on the slab in The Autopsy of Jane Doe is a zombie or a witch or a ghost or what. But whatever that thing is, it keeps crossing the line between living and dead and back again, always with ill intent. If that ain’t a zombie, we don’t know what-all is.

The father-and-son team of Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch, operating of that bizarre underground morgue, go through one awful and awesome postmortem as the mystery of this creature on the table grows wider, deeper, and more dangerous.

This is essentially a two-person drama (the zombie doesn’t count), and the tight but terrifying script produces two of the best performances Cox and Hirsch have ever given – which is saying something. Even better: the ending actually justifies the gettin’ there – another rarity in “locked room” stories.

Come for the zombie, stay for the mystery and the reveal, and try to forget what you see. We dare you.

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All Cheerleaders Die ( 2014)

All Cheerleaders Die: A Darkly Comic, Bloody Revenge Flick with Smart Zombies

Movie/Strollers/One-on-One

Not everybody loves this movie – you can look at the Rotten Tomatoes and MetaCritic numbers and see that – and part of its appeal is definitely just the name and notion. Come on: zombie cheerleaders? You have to love it. But we tend to agree with the WeGotThisCovered review, who called All Cheerleaders Die “mindless and contrived”, but also admitted it was a “witching, bitching good time.”

One interesting production point: The semi-legendary grim-and-bloody horror auteur Lucky McKee first made this movie in 2001 when he was fresh out of film school, and liked the idea so much he remade it in 2013. The first version was a pretty straightforward (and not terribly interesting) bloodfest; in the newer edition, there’s a whole team of cheerleaders killed by heartless football players who are brought back to life with Wiccan magic, and who work together to avenge their deaths by knocking off the jocks and their minions one by one. And yes, there’s a wide-open “The End??” ending that begs for a sequel that unfortunately has never shown up.

Wedecided to include it here, and give it a solid “Adequate” rating, partly for its sheer Australian exuberance, but mostly just for the idea itself… and if you happen to have a cheerleader-type in the fam, this could be a great little gift.

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